Finally
by Naisho
Summary: 3 years after Sai's disappearance, Hikaru craves for someone he could spill everything out to and *he* comes along.
1. Shindo Hikaru

This is my first ever try at a _purely serious fic. I'm sorry for having OOC here._

I admit it. I _love_ morbid fics and now I'm making one.

This isn't yaoi or shounen-ai but to those yaoi people out there, you will find hints of Sai x Hikaru or AkiHika/Hikaki though it's not an intended one. If you're at least 75% innocent, it wouldn't matter.

I don't why I did this but I've been feeling down for a while for no reason in particular.

Here, I present to you…

Disclaimer: HnG is copyright of Shueisha and Studio Pierrot; written by Hotta Yumi and illustrated by Obata Takeshi.

**FINALLY…**

By Naisho

Hikaru glanced at the calendar. Today was the anniversary of Sai's disappearance. It had been three years since then and…though it was hard to admit…the memory of his closest friend was vague for some reason that even he didn't know. Yes, memories fade and wither but…he thought that this should be an exception. He didn't think that anyone had ever had somebody attached – no matter what happens – to him for two consecutive years. Still, the human mind is not eternal; it cannot keep all that is essential.

His mother was not in the house but he had informed her of this. He just walked passed the rooms in a pace slower than what he used normally. Every glance at every room reminded him of one pinch of his memories with Sai but all of them left as quickly as they had come.

He was going to have a match today…with Touya once again…but he _had_ to go and visit Shuusaku's grave in Hiroshima. He just couldn't take the pressure anymore…keeping Sai's identity hidden. He had always been an open person and rarely was he able to keep secrets. Oh how he longed to tell everything to someone…anyone! But…he isn't stupid. He knows no one would believe him…. People would just laugh…give off suspicious and distrusting looks…. He hated that. He hated being doubted…especially when he had been true to the bone. He might as well make up lies.

Lies…hadn't he been lying to everyone since he met Sai? Even to his longest friend, Akari.

Hikaru sighed and pulled his jacket closer to his body. For the first time, he noticed how chilly and dim the morning was despite the fact that it had been somewhere between seven to eight o'clock. He looked up in the sky and noticed some dark, threatening clouds hovering above. And, to make it worse, he didn't bring an umbrella.

He finally reached the train station with no drizzle forming. He felt relieved, partly because the rain hasn't started yet but mainly because he would have something else to worry about that would certainly take his mind off things.

The train stopped as it reached Hikaru's destination. He got off in his unusual mourning march.

Still, the rain hadn't started and the sky remained numb as Hikaru boarded the ship that would take him to Innoh's island. He could remember his trip here with Kawai-san. That made a small smile play on his lips. He had come there for his panic-stricken search for the ghost that had left. Now that he thought about it, he felt lost…real lost…as though he had no reason to pursue his wish to catch up to Touya anymore. Funny, the more he thought about it the more it slipped through his hands like water in the vast sea.

There weren't many people there as there wasn't many in his latter rides. He felt alone…but that wasn't a sensation he was alienated with…. Compared to the time Sai had left, this was nothing.

Hikaru walked towards Shuusaku's grave. Sometimes he thought why he was going to Torajiro's grave. It wasn't Sai's. But then, it was the only memory Sai had. Besides, he knew his ghostly friend was fond of Torajiro and where else would he be?

He bit his lip. He didn't hate Torajiro. He just disliked him. Disliked him because he was mentioned too many times by Sai.

Now, he was in front of Shuusaku's grave. He had his hands in the pockets of his jacket. After the long trip, he finally looked at the sky. How ironic it was that the raindrops started to fall.

Yet, he didn't care. He felt the people around him panic as they all raced towards shelter but he remained in his place, unmoving.

He looked back at the grave solemnly. "Torajiro…" he started, "Don't you know how lucky you were? You didn't have to keep such a large secret because you already died. You didn't have to wake up everyday and hold your tongue. You probably didn't have to. You played as Sai." He muttered.

The raindrops started to grow bigger. No one dared to stay out in the open except for Hikaru.

Water flooded his clothes but his bangs prevented the rain to further stain his face. He felt warm teardrops fall across his cheek. It was a good thing that it was raining. He didn't have to cover his face to hide those embarrassing tears.

"Sai…" Hikaru's voice became groggy accompanied by an unusual coarse laugh. "I'm sorry." He muttered hazily. He bit his lip and bowed his head lower. He turned his head away from the grave. "I just couldn't take it anymore. If only there was someone who would believe me…believe me even if what I say is so unreal…." He let out a long sigh as though he had been holding his breath since he started talking.

Then, he felt the raindrops stop falling down him. He looked up – eyes wide open – and saw an umbrella protecting him. The young pro looked at the ground beside him and saw shoes…two formal shoes. Slowly, he looked up and the face of the shoes' owner. "Touya." He breathed.

"You might get sick." Said his rival. Touya looked up at the sky, "Baka…it was obvious that it was gonna rain." He retorted but not in his usual manner of speaking.

Hikaru just stared with shock in his eyes. So many questions formulated in his mind; he didn't know where to start. "How…? Why…?"

"You didn't come to our game today."

It wasn't that. Their game should have started now, at this time and hour; Touya couldn't have known that he wouldn't come and he was prone to being late. Touya knew that. Whatever happened was a mystery to him but he didn't blame the other; he was full of mysteries himself.

"You're not going to lie to me." Touya replied solidly to an unknown question, now with his eyes looking at the grave.

If it was possible, Hikaru's eyes grew larger. A soft smile then invaded his face. How could he have forgotten? There was Touya. Touya would believe him. He already did…in one way or another. Besides, hadn't he promised to tell his rival everything one day? Touya hadn't bothered him since then. He _could_ trust Touya and he _would._

"Are we just going to stay here or are we going to seek shelter from the rain? It's getting stronger and you're already soaking wet." Touya gave Hikaru a full look over. "Baka." He commented once again about Hikaru's forgetfulness

Hikaru smiled brightly. He didn't know why but he was always prone to smiling when he was with his rival…even after their arguments. "I'm not stupid!!!" He spat back, spraying the other with the excess water from his clothes.

"Shindo!!!" Touya complained, backing away from him like a girl trying to get away from something gross.

Now, Hikaru was only covered half by the umbrella. A grin played on his lips. He moved closer to get away from the raindrops that he ignored to the fullest a while ago. "Touya, you are such a girl! It's just water!!! It's not as if you'd melt or something!" he retorted, rolling his eyes.

"I _am_ NOT!!!!" was Touya's answer but Hikaru just grabbed him by the wrist and started pulling him. "Shindo?!" the dark-haired pro exclaimed as though not satisfied without getting a quarrel.

"Baka!" Now, it was Hikaru's turn to give back the insult, "We have to get out of the rain!"

Touya blinked then went in Hikaru's pace, with his wrist still held tightly by the other. He smiled but was then replaced by his monotonous expression. "Where?" he inquired.

"I know a ramen shop downtown. I'm getting real hungry and I haven't had breakfast yet!!!" the young pro complained then added, "Your treat! _You_ were the one who suggested it!" he pointed out.

Touya sighed then muttered once again, "Baka."

Hikaru heard him loud and clear but didn't care to start a fight. Finally…someone to pour everything out….

Now…where was he gonna start? Hmm…it all started five years ago when he was twelve…

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Okay! One chapter down! There are only two chapters in this fic. Mind you, this was only made because I wanted to get into their characters so please R&R and tell me how OOC I am. I just don't have anyone to debate with about the HnG characters. I have one with Slam Dunk, Saiyuki and Mankin (SK) that's why I "get into" their characters a lot.

I'll be making a Waya-centered, an Isumi-centered, a Sai-centered and a Touya-centered fic to "get to know" them better. So help me God (and R&R them all!!! Scold me all you want! Pour out thy vengeance!!!) Once they're made of course.

Yeah, yeah I know. It implies shounen-ai too much. That's why I'm making a second chapter…to make the shounen-ai alert less.

I think I made Hika-chan too morbid here but he is in some way, ne? I mean, he was all too sad…not that I have a problem with it. I think it made him look kawaii. Forgive the weirdness of my personality.

REVIEW BOTH CHAPTERS, ONEGAI-SHIMASU!!!!! *bends on one knee* Not good enough? *bends on two knees* Still not good enough? *cowers to the ground with hands clasped and pleading eyes* shouldn't that be good enough?

Well, anyway, just that.

Flames, anyone? *offers a cup of boiling magma* No, not me giving flames. You guys. I already flamed myself on my other fic. Still got nasty burns…^_^;

Yare yare desu ne…


	2. Touya Akira

Here is the last chapter of this fic.

Again, this isn't supposed to be yaoi though I know you guys will find hints of it somewhere out there.

Now, chapter two…

Disclaimer: HnG is copyright of Shueisha and Studio Pierrot; written by Hotta Yumi and illustrated by Obata Takeshi.

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Today…will be another official match against Shindo. I admit I'm excited about this. It has been a week since we last played against each other and, knowing my rival, that was enough to boost his skill to another level. I fancy him being that way…easily honed skills…probably because he has true talent buried beneath him and that might just be the same reason why I considered him as my _eternal rival_.

If Shindo was to be early today, I would be meeting him down this road but that was impossible. Shindo had a flair of being late…not _all the time…just…__most of the time. I'm not saying that he should be punctual but it really just gets on my nerves. For a pro, he __should be aware of the time. He's so childish. Sometimes, I can't believe he plays go at all._

And to my surprise, I saw him, walking slowly, as though in a mourning match, on the other side. I stopped. He would surely see me and bound up to me with his trademark grin. But this…was different. For one thing, he was going to the opposite direction. Secondly, he was looking down with his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket.

I scowled. Was he going to ditch our game? If he was, then why in the world would he be in such rivalry with me if he wasn't going to appear in our matches? I finally decided to approach him.

I crossed the road and stomped angrily towards him. With the way I was acting, I knew he would notice me before I reach him – that is, if he was still the Shindo I know.

Yet he didn't, he didn't notice me. I stopped short and just followed him with my eyes, flabbergasted. He just passed by me as though I didn't exist! I saw his face clearly. It was that of someone in grief. Shindo doesn't get this sad. Yes, I've seen him show me a face like that…when I visited his school and he ran away from me. 

I felt the pang of guilt pierce me. Am I the reason behind his sorrow? No, I know I'm not. We _are_ on good terms. I know I haven't done anything to offend him except for our daily arguments at otou-san's go salon. But…that isn't enough of a reason for him to feel this sad. We _always_ have arguments.

I decided to just follow him and, perhaps, I might learn the reason of his sorrow. There was no point in going to the institute anymore. Shindo wasn't going to be there nor do I want to win by default. It just wouldn't be fair to my rival.

He paid for a ticket to Hiroshima. I did the same, following closely behind him. There weren't many people on the train. I was astounded when I saw Shindo go inside an empty train compartment. I know he likes company. He wouldn't just stay alone for no reason. This confirmed me that something was wrong. And to think about, he hadn't been smiling since I saw him and he had always been a carefree person.

We got off the train and, still, I followed him like a shadow. I wasn't that careful anymore. Shindo hadn't noticed me and I don't think he will with his mind buried deep within his thoughts. If he didn't snap out of his trance, he might end up being run over by a car and he wouldn't notice it until it was one inch away from him.

But nothing of the sort happened. Shindo just walked on and then took a boat to Innoh's island. Of course, I followed him. At that time, I realized that we were going to Shuusaku's hometown. Does that mean that Shuusaku had a connection to this change in Shindo? I thought hard. Shindo had always been fond of Shuusaku and he often called him Torajiro when he was in deep thought or distracted. And the way he said that legendary go player's name seemed as though he knew him! As if that was possible!

We ended up at Shuusaku's grave. He stopped in front of the grave, looking at it sincerely but with his eyes filling up with a sadness that I can no longer take. I felt the sudden urge of going out there and comforting him. But before I could do anything, water fell from the sky. Luckily, I brought an umbrella with me. I turned my eyes back to Shindo and just found him standing there and letting the rain soak him wet.

Baka. Why didn't he bring an umbrella? He'll get sick that way!!! It was obvious that it was going to rain! I know he isn't _that stupid. I wanted to blame him more but his facial expression seized me back to reality._

I wasn't far behind him but still, I couldn't hear his words but I could easily make them out. "Torajiro…." I saw him mouth. I moved closer to hear him clearer. "Don't you know how lucky you were?" Is he talking to himself again? I thought he stopped that habit years ago and what does he mean by 'lucky'? "You didn't have to keep such a large secret because you already died." _Large…secret? What do you mean_? "You didn't have to wake up everyday and hold your tongue." Again, his words befuddled me. "You probably didn't have to. You played as Sai."

My eyes grew wide in shock. Sai? Does this have something to do with Sai? And what about Shuusaku? So many questions yet I can't ask them at all. Shindo had promised me that he'll tell me someday. I trust him. I know he will not lie to me about such a thing. I…am prepared for that day, prepared for any kind of truth he will give me.

"Sai…" Shindo muttered in a watery voice. He laughed an uneven laugh that made me feel awkward to approach him. "I'm sorry." I looked closely at his face. Even with the rain falling on his face, I could see the tears roll down his cheek. I've never seen him cry before. "I just couldn't take it anymore. If only there was someone who would believe me…believe me even if what I say is so unreal…." He trailed off, letting out a long sad sigh.

I would believe him. I really would. No matter what he says to me right now. I can see it in his face. He won't lie to me…not now…not ever. Without thinking before hand, I approached him and sheltered him from the rain with my umbrella.

I didn't look at him. I didn't want to look in his eyes. I might be forced to tell him that I have been following him and I didn't want to get out of track in this subject.

"Touya." I heard him say, shocked. I let go of thinking about what I'm going to say and just opened my mouth to reply, "You might get sick." Then, I continued, "Baka…it was obvious that it was gonna rain."

"How…? Why…?"

"You didn't come to our game today." I replied. I just couldn't say it directly to him. I don't know why…maybe because I didn't want to hit him sharply.

Shindo remained silent and before I knew it, I was saying, "You're not going to lie to me." And I finally breathed easier. At least, I was able to point out something to him…point out that I would believe him.

I felt a change of air from my rival. He was going back to his usual self.

"Are we just going to stay here or are we going to seek shelter from the rain? It's getting stronger and you're already soaking wet." I looked at him. How stupid could I have been? I should've taken more notice of his clothes! I should've just gone here and sheltered him! "Baka." I commented, mainly to myself.

Finally, he grinned. "I'm not stupid!" was his retort as he flapped his arms that caused the excess water to hit me. 

"Shindo!" I remained at my place for Shindo's sake but I made an involuntary move of dodging. That let the rain pour down on Shindo once again.

Now, Shindo was smiling brightly and all the signs of sorrow were gone. "Touya! You are such a girl! It's just water!!! It's not as if you're gonna melt or something!" he rolled his eyes sarcastically. To think I was there trying to comfort him, this is how he repays me?! By calling me…a…a…girl?!?!

"I _am_ NOT!!!!" I shouted back. He grabbed my wrist and started pulling. Where in the world was he taking me?! First he starts an argument with me and now he's just pulling me like this?! "Shindo?!"

"Baka!" he gave back the insult I threw to myself, "We have to get out of the rain!"

I blinked. I've completely forgotten about that! Good thing he reminded me!

I felt the angst from before subside. Everything was going back to normal. I smiled at him softly. At least he's okay now, I don't have to battle with myself whether I'm going to go there and hug him tightly or not. "Where?" I asked. Surely, he must've forgotten this and, if not, who knows what kind of ramen shop he's gonna bring me to.

"I know a ramen shop downtown. I'm getting real hungry and I haven't had breakfast yet!!!" Shindo answered back. As usual, he and his addiction to ramen. I just hope we have separate payments. "Your treat! _You were the one who suggested it!" he pointed out. I'll beat him in our next match._

"Baka." The word escaped my lips. It wasn't actually intended but it was a sort of instinct to me now.

Yet, Shindo didn't retort. He mustn't have heard me. Good. I won't have to start a fight with him and right now, I really don't want to.

OWARI

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Now, feel free to kill me. Pour out your soul and heart! Criticize me with everything you've got! Please! Pleazee! Pleazee! Pleazee? *looks at reader with puppy-dog eyes*

If you don't review this, I'm gonna be forced to flame myself once again!

Really, please review. This fic was only done to further explore the traits of Shindo Hikaru and probably Touya Akira too so please tell me if it's OOC. You are free to exaggerate even the smallest OOCness!

I'm sorry if I couldn't put the first chapter in Hikaru's POV! I'm just to limited in using simple words!

Maybe once I get reviews for this one, I'll continue my other fic and, probably, I can improve it.

Onegai shimasu, minna-san desu…review this fic. T_T


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